It's Better if They Don't Return

Sometimes people who go to a restaurant aren't there for a great meal and atmosphere - they're there for a free meal.

It's true. Not everyone is a good person. There are a few people, albeit only accounting for a very small percentage of people who eat in restaurants, whose main goal is to receive a free meal.

There are several tactics they use to accomplish this insidious goal; but two approaches are apparently the favorites.

One approach is the: "Wait Until it's Too Late Approach."

Thieves, and I call them that because that is what they are in my opinion, will order a typical meal. Most of the time it's a couple rather than a family with a bunch of children. Sometimes I have the impression, although I can't prove it with certainty, that this is premeditated act.

They receive their drinks. They eat their appetizer and salad. I visit the table frequently enough during the entire meal to ensure they are want for nothing. Their entrees come out. After giving them the chance to try their food, I return and ask "How is everything." There are no complaints.

As dinner is wrapping up mission Free Meal begins. The thief will have eaten the majority of their entree. This is an important distinction to make. They've not tried the food and noticed a problem. They've not tried to convince themselves it wasn't that bad and eaten a few bites only to find out the problem is too great to ignore. No. They have eaten nearly the entire meal without so much as whispering a complaint.

I present the check. It's at this moment the thief will say the pasta wasn't good, or the steak was rare and they wanted it medium-well. They want the entree comp'd - that's short for complimentary or free. Sometimes they'll settle for a free desert. They believe that since they've put the server in a situation that can't be fixed the only solution is a free entree.

My response was always: "I'm sorry you didn't like it, but if you had told me before you ate the entire meal I could have done something. I'm sorry." I did my best to not get the manager involved because I knew if that happened then the thief would walk out of the restaurant with Mission Accomplished.

The second approach is much more unpleasant for the waiter. It's the Complain for Comps Approach. With this strategy the waiter can do absolutely nothing right and the thief will do everything in their power to make it difficult to receive good service.

"We've been waiting here for five minutes," they'll start off with despite having just been sat down. I know this because I verify when they were seated with the hostess.

The thief will order drinks and drink them so fast you'd think they were just pouring the drink on the floor. They want it to appear as though their drinks were constantly empty during the meal.

They order their meal. The food is delivered. "Is this the largest baked potato you have back there," one patron asks. "This meat is over cooked," they'll say despite ordering a fillet well done. Etc. Etc. The list goes on. "Why doesn't the restaurant have green onions," demands a customer. "This prime rib is raw," another will insist despite having been explained prior to ordering how the meat is prepared and delivered.

By the time the bill is delivered, these people are almost in a rage. They demand to see the manager. It's the worst service they've ever received in their lives. Etc. Etc.

The manager visits the table and apologizes profusely. "What can we do to make you happy," asks the manager. "I'm so sorry your experience was this bad. Let me take care of your bill."

Mission Accomplished. Now the sharks smell blood in the water and more than one of this type of thief will return and make the same performance for a free meal. We've paid for one person's meal as many as three or four times before they stop coming.

On one such occasion I managed to avoid getting the manager involved. The thief paid for their meal and complained to the hostess saying, "I'll never be back in here again!"

The hostess, not knowing the situation, told the manager what had happened. The manager frantically asked me, "What happened! She's never coming back!"

I reminded the manager, "This lady was in here a few weeks ago. I know because I waited on her and she did the same thing. We paid for her meal that time, but sometimes it's better if they don't come back."